I work at a small hospital, small but nice. Or it used to be until it got flooded by the hurricane. They're working on that. Almost done with the reconstruction. I didn't lose my job like the folks down at UTMB Galveston. Luckily. We're back in our own unit after spending 3 months sharing space in the maternity ward. Gadzooks! That was awful! We'v had a very busy month-been full every day and playing the revolving door game with patients. We've also had some very strange things happen and also some ridiculous thing happen. It struck me a few days ago that working where I do, things have the potential to be ridiculous or life-threatening and the day goes so much easier when it's somewhere between the two.
So, I decided to make little notes about the stupid stuff that happens at work, like my own version of the Reader's Digest column. If you're not in healthcare you may not get some of the humor but I'll try to explain if it. Keep in mind I can't give real names, either. Some of it happens between co-workers (and I've got a main source for that!) but some of it comes from patients or their families.
The first entry belongs to my husband, however, simply because it was too funny. Chuckles is the general manager for a Subway restaurant. Behind it, is a nursing home. Sometimes, he tells me, they let the more lucid and trustworthy residents out for walks and they come to the store for lunch. Today, he had one such a customer but the poor dear was obviously more confused than any of the others that had been there. It kinda threw him for a loop.
He overheard another employee speaking to a customer and realized the employee was confused about what the lady wanted. He poked his head out and saw a little old lady at the counter. She wanted to buy tuna but without the bread. No big deal. He got that straightened out with the employee on how that works and was asked what should she put it in? A soup bowl, he says. "Oh no, dear," the customer says. "Don't ruin your dishes. Just put it right here." And she holds out her hands. "Put it right here, dear. Do you have a lid I can put on this?"
Keep in mind they're not used to senile people and the employee wasn't quite sure what to make of that request. Well, the lady gets her tuna in a bowl, cuz it's no trouble to give her a bowl,and she pays.
"How much?"
"Fifty cents, ma'am."
"How much for 2 scoops?"
"Well, that would be a dollar."
"A dollar? Why, that's twice as much!"
What's he supposed to say to that? "Yes."
So she pays and sits down in the dining room and proceeds to eat the tuna from the bowl. With her fingers. Gets it everywhere. Chuckles goes out to ask an embarrassed mother if her 3 giggling kids could stop laughing at the poor lady who has tuna dripping down her chin. In clumps. She's probably embarrassed about it. Poor thing probably doesn't even realize she's doing it. Even the construction workers on their lunch break are trying not to laugh at her. So the lady finishes up and starts to leave. With the tuna still all over her face. Chuck asks her if she's got someone to take her home. "Oh, they're in the car, dear." (I want to know why they didn't come in with her.)
He said it was the weirdest thing he's ever had to do (and remember we've got 3 kids ourselves) but the woman just didn't understand that she had made a mess of herself. I guess he tried giving her a napkin or maybe tried telling her to wipe her face off but she didn't get it. So he wiped her face of for her and sent her on her way.
The whole rest of the day, the running joke was to request some food item and hold out the hands for it. "Just put it right here."
My grandfather had Alzheimer's. He used to wander down the street buck naked. We get nursing home patients quite a lot in my unit-usually cuz they've fallen & broken a hip. Sometimes, they're pleasantly confused like the Subway lady but sometimes they climb over bedrails, pull out IV lines and catheters and cuss and scream and hit. Those are the days when you can hear those guys with the straight jackets calling your name.
You either laugh a little at the inanity of it all or you go crazy right along with them. If I ever go senile like that, somebody shoot me.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
iPod Touch Myself
I blame this on my MySp friend and co-worker, Jacquie.
At work a few weeks ago, she says to me, "Oh, here, Kristen. You'll appreciate this since you're into all this technology stuff." And she pulls out this 16G iPod Touch that her honey had gotten her as a surprise. It's got Wi-Fi access (free), hold tons of music & photos & tons of applications & planner/calendar/organizer functions.
"Ooooh!" says I.
And thus began my quest to save money for one of my very own! I didn't want to pay for the internet access on my phone (which I'll upgrade around my birthday-maybe that will get another blog, too, since I've already picked that one out, too) and there are Wi-Fi areas all over the place, including my house & the hospital. My brother has the iPhone, which is really cool, too, but I didn't want to pay that much for a phone or the internet access. I had an older model Blackberry for a while but I wasn't pleased with the phone funcion part &, again, the fee thing. I've been borrowing my mom's iPod Shuffle. It's cute & holds a lot of music but I didn't like the no-screen thing to see what I'm listening to. (Cuz I can't tell just by listening, right?) Poor Mom has trouble figuring out the tech stuff so she didn't miss it for the year or so I had it. (Don't worry, I've already given it back, preloaded with a bunch of her songs & instructions to send it back with the new music she wants included on it.) So I went shopping to compare prices. I wanted to get the 32G Touch cuz I've just got that much stuff I can put on it but couldn't find it in any of the stores. So, a 16G will be OK. That's still -what?- 30hrs of video or 7000 songs or something like that. I'm sure that'll be enough. Everywhere I looked the price was the same so I prepared to pull out my saved money & spend it. Then I Googled the thing looking for coupons or sales.
And, lo! I found Best Buy where they offered a 32G iPod Touch for the price of a 16G! Now, you realize the 32G is short $400 by a few pennies so to find one nearly $100 cheaper...whoo-hoo! I bought that sucker online! Then had to wait. Man, it was killing me. That was Monday night almost two weeks ago, in the wee hours of the morning. I thought I'd have to wait a couple of weeks. That's OK. We went to the zoo on Tuesday. Then I worked Wed-Fri. Wouldn't have had time anyway...Man, where is that thing?
The following Monday, Chuck wanders in after getting the mail, fiddling with something. "Wait," he says, "I have to put this appointment on my calendar."
"What are you talking about?" Chuckles doesn't use things like that. He's still stuck in the stone-age. Won't even consider getting a cell phone & pretends he doesn't know how to use one. "What is that? What do you have? That's mine!"
Sneaky man ran off with my new iPod! We four girls chased him down the stairs, screeching like idiots! OK, maybe not screeching but you get my point; with 4 girls (2 littles, 2 bigs) it can get quite loud. We ain't dainty & prim. Didn't take long to get the thing charged...swoon... I'm in iPod Touch heaven now! The only I'm missing is external speakers-apprently I bought the First Gen, but that's OK. I've spent most of the last week and a half fiddling with the thing. Loading CD after CD after MP3 onto it, filling the home screen with free applications (which I've actually used) and getting giddy over finding a version of Tetris (you've got to understand-I love that game & have been in withdrawal since my original Gameboy version got fried. Sob. Couldn't even find it for my Nintendo DS. Double sob).
I let Meg have a gander at it. She put pins in the map. "Look, I found our house! Gigi's house!" I plugged it into the iDog & let the little girls listen to "Across the Universe" while bathing. Most importantly, I downloaded the digital version of Supernatural Season 3. Wow. Crystal clear, even on this small screen. Those Winchester boys looked mighty fine! I might put a movie for the girls on there, just to pacify them. Then I had to go online & order a few accessories. Couldn't find any Bad Company CDs anywhere, so ordered two of those. Bought a case but don't like it, so I ordered another one, plus a wall charger adapter, cuz I've been using it so much I have to recharge every day. I've got an iTunes Gift Card coming in the mail, too. Went to Rhapsody Online & used MyCoke Reward coupons to get 20 or so free MP3 downloads. I'm all for this free stuff. Self, I says, you've got to control yourself. No more ordering stuff. Wait til the Gift Card gets here & you can get a few more movies or something. I've already got a few in mind...."The Iron Giant" (great flick! I just found out that Vin Diesel was the voice for the Giant) or "Bolt" (current fave of the littlest) or "MacGyver" (my all-time fave). Maybe "Wall-E" (which is totally adorable, for an animated flick without much dialogue. It's amazing what the sound effects guy can do to make those robots express themselves but, hey, it was the dude who did the sound effects on Star Wars. Need I say more?) I've got over 200 photos on that thing, too. Hours of music. Tons of apps. I've even got a calorie counter to aid in my quest to reach a healthier weight. (I'm not fat, just big boned. Right, Cartman? Not quite like Garfield, who's fat and happy. I'm relatively happy, just not with my state of health. But that's another blog.) Anyhoo....
You know the status bar that shows how much space has been used up on your iPod? Only about half of it is filled. Supernatural takes up most of that but I'm not complaining. All the photos & music took up just over one section on that bar. Dude. What can I find to fill that? So that's it. I'm obsessed with this thing. Whip it out whenever I have to wait for something & play Tetris; don't forget to put in my calories; update my Cozi.com calendar or my contacts. Now I've got to tear myself away from it, make myself go to bed at 1:00 AM instead of loading up another CD or downloading another app. Oh, but wait! I forgot about "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Aliong Blog"! If you haven't seen that, it's awesome! Josh Whedon made it; stars Nathan Fillion, Neil Patrick Harris. They sing! NPH does so awesomely! So there you go, Misfit T. I've informed the masses. I've stepped up and admitted it.
"Hi. My name is Kristen and I'm addicted to my iPod Touch." I ain't goin' to no twelve-step program either!
At work a few weeks ago, she says to me, "Oh, here, Kristen. You'll appreciate this since you're into all this technology stuff." And she pulls out this 16G iPod Touch that her honey had gotten her as a surprise. It's got Wi-Fi access (free), hold tons of music & photos & tons of applications & planner/calendar/organizer functions.
"Ooooh!" says I.
And thus began my quest to save money for one of my very own! I didn't want to pay for the internet access on my phone (which I'll upgrade around my birthday-maybe that will get another blog, too, since I've already picked that one out, too) and there are Wi-Fi areas all over the place, including my house & the hospital. My brother has the iPhone, which is really cool, too, but I didn't want to pay that much for a phone or the internet access. I had an older model Blackberry for a while but I wasn't pleased with the phone funcion part &, again, the fee thing. I've been borrowing my mom's iPod Shuffle. It's cute & holds a lot of music but I didn't like the no-screen thing to see what I'm listening to. (Cuz I can't tell just by listening, right?) Poor Mom has trouble figuring out the tech stuff so she didn't miss it for the year or so I had it. (Don't worry, I've already given it back, preloaded with a bunch of her songs & instructions to send it back with the new music she wants included on it.) So I went shopping to compare prices. I wanted to get the 32G Touch cuz I've just got that much stuff I can put on it but couldn't find it in any of the stores. So, a 16G will be OK. That's still -what?- 30hrs of video or 7000 songs or something like that. I'm sure that'll be enough. Everywhere I looked the price was the same so I prepared to pull out my saved money & spend it. Then I Googled the thing looking for coupons or sales.
And, lo! I found Best Buy where they offered a 32G iPod Touch for the price of a 16G! Now, you realize the 32G is short $400 by a few pennies so to find one nearly $100 cheaper...whoo-hoo! I bought that sucker online! Then had to wait. Man, it was killing me. That was Monday night almost two weeks ago, in the wee hours of the morning. I thought I'd have to wait a couple of weeks. That's OK. We went to the zoo on Tuesday. Then I worked Wed-Fri. Wouldn't have had time anyway...Man, where is that thing?
The following Monday, Chuck wanders in after getting the mail, fiddling with something. "Wait," he says, "I have to put this appointment on my calendar."
"What are you talking about?" Chuckles doesn't use things like that. He's still stuck in the stone-age. Won't even consider getting a cell phone & pretends he doesn't know how to use one. "What is that? What do you have? That's mine!"
Sneaky man ran off with my new iPod! We four girls chased him down the stairs, screeching like idiots! OK, maybe not screeching but you get my point; with 4 girls (2 littles, 2 bigs) it can get quite loud. We ain't dainty & prim. Didn't take long to get the thing charged...swoon... I'm in iPod Touch heaven now! The only I'm missing is external speakers-apprently I bought the First Gen, but that's OK. I've spent most of the last week and a half fiddling with the thing. Loading CD after CD after MP3 onto it, filling the home screen with free applications (which I've actually used) and getting giddy over finding a version of Tetris (you've got to understand-I love that game & have been in withdrawal since my original Gameboy version got fried. Sob. Couldn't even find it for my Nintendo DS. Double sob).
I let Meg have a gander at it. She put pins in the map. "Look, I found our house! Gigi's house!" I plugged it into the iDog & let the little girls listen to "Across the Universe" while bathing. Most importantly, I downloaded the digital version of Supernatural Season 3. Wow. Crystal clear, even on this small screen. Those Winchester boys looked mighty fine! I might put a movie for the girls on there, just to pacify them. Then I had to go online & order a few accessories. Couldn't find any Bad Company CDs anywhere, so ordered two of those. Bought a case but don't like it, so I ordered another one, plus a wall charger adapter, cuz I've been using it so much I have to recharge every day. I've got an iTunes Gift Card coming in the mail, too. Went to Rhapsody Online & used MyCoke Reward coupons to get 20 or so free MP3 downloads. I'm all for this free stuff. Self, I says, you've got to control yourself. No more ordering stuff. Wait til the Gift Card gets here & you can get a few more movies or something. I've already got a few in mind...."The Iron Giant" (great flick! I just found out that Vin Diesel was the voice for the Giant) or "Bolt" (current fave of the littlest) or "MacGyver" (my all-time fave). Maybe "Wall-E" (which is totally adorable, for an animated flick without much dialogue. It's amazing what the sound effects guy can do to make those robots express themselves but, hey, it was the dude who did the sound effects on Star Wars. Need I say more?) I've got over 200 photos on that thing, too. Hours of music. Tons of apps. I've even got a calorie counter to aid in my quest to reach a healthier weight. (I'm not fat, just big boned. Right, Cartman? Not quite like Garfield, who's fat and happy. I'm relatively happy, just not with my state of health. But that's another blog.) Anyhoo....
You know the status bar that shows how much space has been used up on your iPod? Only about half of it is filled. Supernatural takes up most of that but I'm not complaining. All the photos & music took up just over one section on that bar. Dude. What can I find to fill that? So that's it. I'm obsessed with this thing. Whip it out whenever I have to wait for something & play Tetris; don't forget to put in my calories; update my Cozi.com calendar or my contacts. Now I've got to tear myself away from it, make myself go to bed at 1:00 AM instead of loading up another CD or downloading another app. Oh, but wait! I forgot about "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Aliong Blog"! If you haven't seen that, it's awesome! Josh Whedon made it; stars Nathan Fillion, Neil Patrick Harris. They sing! NPH does so awesomely! So there you go, Misfit T. I've informed the masses. I've stepped up and admitted it.
"Hi. My name is Kristen and I'm addicted to my iPod Touch." I ain't goin' to no twelve-step program either!
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